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The Mind WandersSometimes I feel as if I should be writing a book
Instead of a poem.
Theres too many things to say,
And not enough ink
The alcohol sets in
As the anger seeps out.
The more this happens,
The more cluttered my mind becomes.
The more I have to say.
Three months past and your different than I remember.
The fighting words remain the same,
But this time stronger.
My ears hear more than they would ever ask to know.
A mind has been made up,
To a mindset that will change us all forever.
The timing isnt right.
Theres still years left for this to linger through my mind.
Feeling guilty to even know this honesty,
I let my eyes wander to the ground.
Feeling horrible for your decision,
But knowing its for the best.
Through it all,
I know its just the pills.
A tiny capsule keeping us together.
The only thing you agree upon is the way to loose weight.
Or should I say, loose yourselves
Beneath the perfect image lies a disaster.
But I guess we should all know by
I Love You MomYou say you pictured things differently.
Tears roll down your face as I try to stand strong.
Tripping over your words,
Choking on air.
You tell me that Im leaving too soon.
With each tear that runs, the more I start to break inside.
Wishing my happiness didnt cause you pain.
Trying to figure out some way to make us both happy at the same time.
You say your fine,
But only a fool would believe those words.
The look of pain in your eyes could bring me to my knees.
Ive never seen you break so hard.
But its my turn to tell you,
That everything is fine.
This isnt the end.
Its simply a new beginning.
Your terrified that you wont be in my life anymore,
But Im terrified that youll never truly trust that you always will no matter what.
Theres so many things you wanted to do with me,
That now kill you inside because you fear you cant.
Its never too late mom.
Im here to stay.
The miles may seem long and my voice far away,
But tell m
Running On EmptyMy mind runs hazy
As my soul runs out.
Finding the pieces on the floor,
Trying to fit my heart back together.
Hold them into place until it starts to beat again.
Its obvious theres certain pieces missing.
Never will I be placed together again
Until I learn to create some new.
I cant say I havent tried,
Cause that would be a lie.
I wouldnt have fallen all these times if I hadnt taken a chance.
Wishing I could use this pencil I find myself writing with constantly,
To erase all the things that hurt.
Trying to separate dream from reality.
Sanity from insanity.
Lost within myself,
I find a constant battle.
Looking in each direction to figure out which ones best.
But every direction seems so unclear.
Never will I wear my heart on my sleeve again.
My love has already been branded into my side,
Never to be erased.
Never to be forgotten.
But that never gave me any permanence.
The higher I was, the further I dropped,
And the faster I fell.
Wonder is something
I Dispise.The make up of yourself youve created lately
Is made up of everything I hate.
Despising the words you speak,
The lies you make,
The connections we no longer have.
Turning numb to your composure.
I draw myself the music lines.
I write out all the notes to play.
The sound of the strings from my guitar echo in this room.
Strumming on the strings faster as I think.
Hectic fingers moving quickly to the words pouring from my mouth.
Words of hate.
No words of pity.
Fall to your knees as I have done.
Kick you while your down, I wont.
Laugh as I remise.
Ill lay awake with different thoughts tonight.
Ive missed you all this time,
And now I cant seem to figure out why.
I hate almost everything about you.
Why would I love someone like you?
Miss you now, I dont.
I'm Missing Love.Ive fallen out of love.
Or so I think.
And I have to say,
I didnt think itd hurt this bad.
Maybe hurt is the wrong word to use.
Replace it with empty.
Yeah, thats the perfect word to describe this horrible feeling
that lingers throughout my body.
When my emotions lean towards the worst,
Thats when this feeling hits me hardest.
Looking to run to love.
Speak my words of fear and sadness to the one whose always there.
Knowing itll make everything better just because their beside you.
When you feel you have no one at the end of the day,
Go to love.
Your love is the one whos by your side to hold you.
Well, it seems thats something I can no longer do.
Who knew it could feel so empty?
They say its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
And maybe I agree.
But maybe I dont.
Who likes having something taken away?
Something is missing that I once felt so strong.
Let me feel again.
Maybe thats not
Over And DoneThoughts that fill my brain.
Cries of pain.
Fell to the floor. I cant take any more.
Spoken words turn to lies.
Ive given up, no more tries.
Claiming to be so faithful your words have become too hateful.
Take your steps to turn away
Ill fight to stay astray.
No more late night talks through telephones -
You've created way too many broken bones.
Focus your eyes, theres your true prize.
Another girl comes along,
Ive believed you far too long.
She keeps her steady pace this was never a race.
She knew shed have you in the end,
My heart was there for you to lend.
Fallen girl with broken knees,
Your heart was never mine, Ill give you back the keys.
Trying to crawl to you, I grab the floor.
You turn your back, you shut the door.
Looking to the beautiful skies,
Thats all thats left where are your pretty green eyes?
You continue to lie, I continue to die
Keep asking myself why.
Its been way to painful.
Let's Try To Live On My OwnChanging my ways
The others got me nowhere.
Ive learned from the past.
Ill never do again.
I guess that involves leaving you behind.
Or at least pretending thats what I plan to do.
But little do you know its just a part of my new attempt to get you back.
But wait, thats not what I want?
Maybe I dont even know myself.
Ive spent so much time caught up in you,
Figuring you out,
Ive forgotten about myself.
What is it that I like?
Who am I trying to become?
No. I dont want to become you.
But it looks as if Ive started heading in that direction.
Its time for change.
Time for me to find myself.
Better yet .create myself.
Thats what you say life is about, right?
Done worrying about finding my heart.
This is where I make a new one.
Leave the other behind with you.
Ill pretend it doesnt mean a thing.
My intentions are good, I swear.
Ive just lost my piece of mind.
Memories Too Strong To FadeThey say the more you try to forget,
The more you remember.
But even when I dont try to forget
Youre still my only thought.
Head is screaming now.
Surrounded by people everyday.
Friends that can always make me smile.
A girlfriend who wants nothing more than to be my everything.
Laying in her arms to feel her touch,
But no touch is as sweet as yours.
No matter how many people are around me,
I still feel so alone without you.
The time keeps ticking,
But I feel as if it hasnt moved at all.
Stuck in the past.
Memories flash through my mind,
Like one of those old love movies.
Black and white
But so beautiful.
Trying to pick a favorite memory
But thats just too impossible.
Theres too many memories.
But in each and every one
That beautiful smile of yours still lingers in my eyes.
Youve lied to me.
Left me to fall to my knees.
Broken almost every promise you've ever made to me.
BreakdownHold your blades and contemplate.
Drink up baby.
Drink until you cant remember whats gone wrong.
Kiss as many people as you can.
Get everyone wrapped around your finger as tightly as theyll go.
The world is yours to make a joke of.
But when you find yourself alone at night,
The tears start falling and you dont want to admit it to yourself.
Through all of the things you do to hide the pain,
Its still there.
When no ones around,
You have no one left to show.
Nothing left to pretend.
Reality sets in and you cant breathe.
Its all going on without you.
You take as many people as you can down with you.
But as soon as they find out theyll move on.
Fall to your knees.
Regret and hatred is all you have.
Pain and suffering is what youve convinced yourself youll always have.
Let it go baby.
No more tragedies.
Cold Hands, Warm HeartYou spent the day telling me
That I'm hot when I'm cold,
That I look pretty with my hair wet,
That I'm fast in water,
That I'm your little fishy,
As I sped through the river's current.
You cuddled me, hugged me,
I'm finally sure you love me,
And yet I manage to push you away.
You know my hands are freezing cold,
Did I warn you that my heart's the same?
Cold hands, warm heart, I've been told,
I guess for me, it's not the same.
I didn't believe in angels until I met you,
I know you're one.
But not the kind with wings or halos.
Your aura is woven with beams from the sun,
Yet I'm a dark creature, dwelling in shadows.
I'm sorry I got mad at you for a stupid little thing,
And I know my words sting.
I know my hands are freezing, and my heart's the same.
But I love you with a passion, and in my heart is a flame.
you tasted like mintI remember the way you stared into my eyes
in the front seat of your car.
Our favorite song was playing on the radio
and you were driving me home in the rain
because I didn't have anyone else who could give me a ride.
You parked your car in my drive way
and we watched the rain drops race down the windshield.
You had kissed me goodbye before I got out
and I waved as you drove away.
And for a while, it seemed like I couldn't get the taste
of your minty lips out of my mouth.
Sorry Only Says So MuchThere is a particular tension in the halls of a high school.
The eyes of two young souls meet-
Two lost souls.
One was broken beyond repair, with scars that would make the eyes of the strongest man drool.
One was the one who made that feet.
Two rotten souls.
When they see each other,
They both- at the very least the culprit-one- contort their chests.
They avert there eyes and their hearts drop.
It's like they want to cry from the pain,
But also from the joy of the past all over again.
Now the evil one,
The one who gave the other so much pain,
Stays up at night, torturing herself,
Clinging to torn pictures and rotten petals,
Listening to old songs and reading through old messages,
Regretting the past.
She knows she can't change what she's done.
She knows there won't be a reset this time.
It's just the most painful thought in her mind.
She wonders if the other ever thinks the same.
She wonders if the other ever utters her name.
There isn't much else she can do now to begin a friendship,
SempiternalShe says that
love is like a rose bush,
once you're caught
in its embrace
there is no escaping
for if you try to escape,
the thorns will catch you and
only hurt you more.
She says she will never try to escape from their rose bush.
He makes his vows with another.
The cake is set, the moon is lit,
They found her in a rose bush,
blood flowing out like a river.
Drowned in his love, forevermore.
jawlinesher name was Jules-short-for-Julianne and she tasted of the grape gum that comes in packs of eight, the kind tucked away on the shelf at the Grocery & Gifts on 21st and Hawthorne,
and I didn’t know I was supposed to close my eyes.
she traced my spine with her teeth (I figure now she was trying to crack it open, let my marrow spill over her lips)
the stars leaning in when we kissed looked like rice, honest, not wishes or dreams or satellites,
two girls collided on a sidewalk, boots drenched in gasoline puddles that glistened scarlet aquamarine gold, trying to find something with their tongues
but we fooled nobody.
Ever Contemplating I have so many options,
but at the same time,
I have none.
As much as I wanna leave,
I think I might have to stay
right where I am.
someday it will happen:
we'll be on our own
you just have to wait.
I have to finish some things
before we can start:
before we can disappear
and live in our little shack
by the beach in paradise
with just enough to get by.
Playing music on the street
to get something to eat;
just to stay alive.
Although the melodies
keep our hearts beating
and the breaths we take going.
Screaming out our lungs
trying to bring back grunge,
with all our clothes
covered in studs.
Kaoru x Chubby reader: You're not fat.
You were hanging with at the Hitachiin mansion with the rest of the Host club members on a Friday night hanging out after a very long day at school.You were bullied at school but for a peculiar reason.You were a bit chubby.You weren't skinny,but you weren't fat either.Although,you do feel fat most of the time.Most girls at the school were- wait let me rephrase that,EVERY girl at the school was skinny except for you.You had trouble losing weight in the past.You had a strict diet and excercised daily.It was a very slow process but the pounds were skimming off....just not fast enough.Because of being chubby and being self consious you didn't have much friends.However,Kaoru Hitchiin was the first person to become your friend when you came to Ouran.You met the host club after that and became great friends.Haruhi and Kouya are the only ones who knew that you're being bullied by your weight but neither you or them really mentioned it much.You smiled lightl
send me letters instead of text messagesi.
hold me close to your heart;
make me laugh when i'm upset
and protect me when i feel scared.
make me feel like i'm
important to you.
send me letters in the mail
that contain poems that you wrote just for me
and tell me about how you go to
the bookstore every other weekend, hoping that
you can find something for me to read.
tell me about how you want to
go to college after we graduate
and study chemistry like you said you would,
and rant about how much you love science
even if i'm not interested in science,
because i love that you're so passionate about something
and i just love listening to your voice
when you're happy.
One of These DaysOne of these days
I’m going to walk up to you
And know exactly what to say.
The things is though,
You take my breath away
And I’m not good at conversation anyway.
One of these days
I’m going to walk up to you
And tell you exactly how I feel.
I’ll walk up to you
And have my words make you feel loved
Just like you do for me.
One of these days
I’m going to tell you
How happy you’ve made me
And what a difference you’ve made in my life
If only I could speak in poetry
Then I might be able to communicate better.
But I can’t
So I’ll just have to find a way to keep my words
When they aren’t on paper.
But I will
I’ll tell you
I’ll find a way to talk to you
One of these days.
Bring You BackI wish I could bring you back,
Show you all the good in life -
Everything you forgot to live for.
Take a walk with me,
Ill let you see everything thats gone on.
Show you whats happened to the person you took your life for.
Oh, if you only knew the kind of person she has turned into.
Lies on top of mind games,
Smiles hiding the evil to her plans,
Someone who will never stop breaking hearts.
If you only knew then she wasnt worth it.
I understand everything you felt.
Every question that lingered in your mind.
The need to die was strong, I know.
If only I could have grabbed your hand before you jumped.
I sit here and wonder who youd be today.
Successful, Im sure.
Maybe you would be a doctor,
Allowing people to stay another day,.
Saving those who try to take their lives,
Instead of taking your own.
Id do anything for you to live again.
Look at the things shes done.
See the person she is with right now.
Read the words they ha
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More