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The Mind WandersSometimes I feel as if I should be writing a book
Instead of a poem.
Theres too many things to say,
And not enough ink
The alcohol sets in
As the anger seeps out.
The more this happens,
The more cluttered my mind becomes.
The more I have to say.
Three months past and your different than I remember.
The fighting words remain the same,
But this time stronger.
My ears hear more than they would ever ask to know.
A mind has been made up,
To a mindset that will change us all forever.
The timing isnt right.
Theres still years left for this to linger through my mind.
Feeling guilty to even know this honesty,
I let my eyes wander to the ground.
Feeling horrible for your decision,
But knowing its for the best.
Through it all,
I know its just the pills.
A tiny capsule keeping us together.
The only thing you agree upon is the way to loose weight.
Or should I say, loose yourselves
Beneath the perfect image lies a disaster.
But I guess we should all know by
I Love You MomYou say you pictured things differently.
Tears roll down your face as I try to stand strong.
Tripping over your words,
Choking on air.
You tell me that Im leaving too soon.
With each tear that runs, the more I start to break inside.
Wishing my happiness didnt cause you pain.
Trying to figure out some way to make us both happy at the same time.
You say your fine,
But only a fool would believe those words.
The look of pain in your eyes could bring me to my knees.
Ive never seen you break so hard.
But its my turn to tell you,
That everything is fine.
This isnt the end.
Its simply a new beginning.
Your terrified that you wont be in my life anymore,
But Im terrified that youll never truly trust that you always will no matter what.
Theres so many things you wanted to do with me,
That now kill you inside because you fear you cant.
Its never too late mom.
Im here to stay.
The miles may seem long and my voice far away,
But tell m
Running On EmptyMy mind runs hazy
As my soul runs out.
Finding the pieces on the floor,
Trying to fit my heart back together.
Hold them into place until it starts to beat again.
Its obvious theres certain pieces missing.
Never will I be placed together again
Until I learn to create some new.
I cant say I havent tried,
Cause that would be a lie.
I wouldnt have fallen all these times if I hadnt taken a chance.
Wishing I could use this pencil I find myself writing with constantly,
To erase all the things that hurt.
Trying to separate dream from reality.
Sanity from insanity.
Lost within myself,
I find a constant battle.
Looking in each direction to figure out which ones best.
But every direction seems so unclear.
Never will I wear my heart on my sleeve again.
My love has already been branded into my side,
Never to be erased.
Never to be forgotten.
But that never gave me any permanence.
The higher I was, the further I dropped,
And the faster I fell.
Wonder is something
I Dispise.The make up of yourself youve created lately
Is made up of everything I hate.
Despising the words you speak,
The lies you make,
The connections we no longer have.
Turning numb to your composure.
I draw myself the music lines.
I write out all the notes to play.
The sound of the strings from my guitar echo in this room.
Strumming on the strings faster as I think.
Hectic fingers moving quickly to the words pouring from my mouth.
Words of hate.
No words of pity.
Fall to your knees as I have done.
Kick you while your down, I wont.
Laugh as I remise.
Ill lay awake with different thoughts tonight.
Ive missed you all this time,
And now I cant seem to figure out why.
I hate almost everything about you.
Why would I love someone like you?
Miss you now, I dont.
I'm Missing Love.Ive fallen out of love.
Or so I think.
And I have to say,
I didnt think itd hurt this bad.
Maybe hurt is the wrong word to use.
Replace it with empty.
Yeah, thats the perfect word to describe this horrible feeling
that lingers throughout my body.
When my emotions lean towards the worst,
Thats when this feeling hits me hardest.
Looking to run to love.
Speak my words of fear and sadness to the one whose always there.
Knowing itll make everything better just because their beside you.
When you feel you have no one at the end of the day,
Go to love.
Your love is the one whos by your side to hold you.
Well, it seems thats something I can no longer do.
Who knew it could feel so empty?
They say its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
And maybe I agree.
But maybe I dont.
Who likes having something taken away?
Something is missing that I once felt so strong.
Let me feel again.
Maybe thats not
Over And DoneThoughts that fill my brain.
Cries of pain.
Fell to the floor. I cant take any more.
Spoken words turn to lies.
Ive given up, no more tries.
Claiming to be so faithful your words have become too hateful.
Take your steps to turn away
Ill fight to stay astray.
No more late night talks through telephones -
You've created way too many broken bones.
Focus your eyes, theres your true prize.
Another girl comes along,
Ive believed you far too long.
She keeps her steady pace this was never a race.
She knew shed have you in the end,
My heart was there for you to lend.
Fallen girl with broken knees,
Your heart was never mine, Ill give you back the keys.
Trying to crawl to you, I grab the floor.
You turn your back, you shut the door.
Looking to the beautiful skies,
Thats all thats left where are your pretty green eyes?
You continue to lie, I continue to die
Keep asking myself why.
Its been way to painful.
Let's Try To Live On My OwnChanging my ways
The others got me nowhere.
Ive learned from the past.
Ill never do again.
I guess that involves leaving you behind.
Or at least pretending thats what I plan to do.
But little do you know its just a part of my new attempt to get you back.
But wait, thats not what I want?
Maybe I dont even know myself.
Ive spent so much time caught up in you,
Figuring you out,
Ive forgotten about myself.
What is it that I like?
Who am I trying to become?
No. I dont want to become you.
But it looks as if Ive started heading in that direction.
Its time for change.
Time for me to find myself.
Better yet .create myself.
Thats what you say life is about, right?
Done worrying about finding my heart.
This is where I make a new one.
Leave the other behind with you.
Ill pretend it doesnt mean a thing.
My intentions are good, I swear.
Ive just lost my piece of mind.
Memories Too Strong To FadeThey say the more you try to forget,
The more you remember.
But even when I dont try to forget
Youre still my only thought.
Head is screaming now.
Surrounded by people everyday.
Friends that can always make me smile.
A girlfriend who wants nothing more than to be my everything.
Laying in her arms to feel her touch,
But no touch is as sweet as yours.
No matter how many people are around me,
I still feel so alone without you.
The time keeps ticking,
But I feel as if it hasnt moved at all.
Stuck in the past.
Memories flash through my mind,
Like one of those old love movies.
Black and white
But so beautiful.
Trying to pick a favorite memory
But thats just too impossible.
Theres too many memories.
But in each and every one
That beautiful smile of yours still lingers in my eyes.
Youve lied to me.
Left me to fall to my knees.
Broken almost every promise you've ever made to me.
BreakdownHold your blades and contemplate.
Drink up baby.
Drink until you cant remember whats gone wrong.
Kiss as many people as you can.
Get everyone wrapped around your finger as tightly as theyll go.
The world is yours to make a joke of.
But when you find yourself alone at night,
The tears start falling and you dont want to admit it to yourself.
Through all of the things you do to hide the pain,
Its still there.
When no ones around,
You have no one left to show.
Nothing left to pretend.
Reality sets in and you cant breathe.
Its all going on without you.
You take as many people as you can down with you.
But as soon as they find out theyll move on.
Fall to your knees.
Regret and hatred is all you have.
Pain and suffering is what youve convinced yourself youll always have.
Let it go baby.
No more tragedies.
Today's HoroscopeA tender smile forms upon his lips
as I laugh, trying to get the hair
out of my face.
He perks in enjoyment as I ask for help,
needing him to fix my seemingly
never ending predicaments.
All I notice when the sun blinds him
is the green specks that appear
with the brown nothingness in his eyes.
When we sing as a group,
I can hear his baritone sink in
even if he's miles away.
We've both been lonely a while,
I with empty promises and
he with absolutely nothing. Hopefully,
God will smile upon this friendship,
that Today's Horoscope said would
EloquenceWith the beauty of angels
and the wickedness of the devil,
faeries are said to be the
children of heaven and hell.
You, my dear, must be a faerie
with a frightening beauty
and the power to twist my heart
into making me love you.
YouMy breaths will go, but I'll never let go of you,
You're the reason I live, you're the reason I flew,
I flew through my dreams and came to you,
You opened your arms and welcomed me too.
My eyesight will go, but I'll never stop looking at you,
You're the reason I smile, you're the reason I say,
You're the best thing for me, you're my drug for every day,
Life without you, is like the world blocked from the sun ray.
My senses will go, but I'll never stop hugging you,
You're the reason I'm warm, in your arms you cuddle me through,
Through the pain and hardships I had to bare,
Life without you here, is heartless in despair.
My soul will go, but I'll always be with you,
Right beside you, in your life's journey too,
Don't forget me, I have a piece of your heart,
I've attached it to mine, it's been there right from the start.
My Try At RomanceRoses are red
Violets are blue
What a wonderful smile
God drew for you
My blood is red
But on the inside blue
As your heart beat
My love only grew
Your blush is red
My eyes are blue
With a flash that
Gentle hue, my worries flew
Our lips are red
The sky is blue
Together with you
I feel not one pulse...
I feel at home and cozy and warm and loved and--
I could go on and on and on and on and on--
I can feel my heart beating and warming my chest but--
No butterflies in my stomach just the fluttering of my heart when I--
I can feel my breath being taken away every time I--
When I'm with you
What I WantWhat I Want (an easy-to-comprehend list):
I want someone
To appreciate my generosity
And constant kindness
I always try to distribute
I want someone who
I know will thoroughly enjoy my presence,
My loss of my train of thought,
And all of my stupid quirks
I want someone who
Won't be able to get me off of their mind
Who will write poems about me
Who will see my image, everlasting, in their dreams
I want someone who
Can love me in return
I want someone who
Loves the angle of my shoulders,
The sweet slope of my jaw,
The gentle curve of my cheekbones,
And my wide, wide eyes
I want someone who
Will play with my hair
I want someone who
Will peck me on the cheek on my way out
And proudly wrap their fingers amongst mine
I want someone who
Will prove my fears wrong
I want someone who
Loves me as much as I do them
Today I Missed Him
Today I missed his patience.
How he never gave up on me
even when I went to homecoming
with someone else
and finally realized
and decide it was
Him that I wanted
how he waited and
comforted me when
no else did
Today I missed his persistence.
How he'd follow me to every class
running if he had to
just to spend
a little bit more time with me
Even though he was a little possessive
Part of me liked his overprotective obsession of me
And loved seeing him always there in the hallways
my constant through the ever changing days
I was never alone
with him by my side
Today I missed his courtesy.
How he never forgot me
Or showed up late
and always arrived early
And in most things
took extra measures
just to be a gentlemen
and treat me like a lady
Today I missed his spirit.
How he embodied an adventurous soul
to match and encourage mine
filling my head with warriors and princesses
in some ways an outcast just like me
who didn't mind being different
or care what others thought o
ForeverI know we can't be together now,
But I know we will be one day.
One day, we will be together.
Neither of us care how long we must wait,
For it will be well worth the wait.
Even if I must wait an eternity,
I will wait for you.
Nothing will stop me from doing so.
Even if I am unable to talk to you,
I will find the right moment to tell you,
As many times as I have to,
How much I love you and how much you mean to me.
Forever I will wait,
Until we can truly be together.
At a time where no one can and/or will look down at us.
You mean more to me than I can even imagine.
My hand continue to be held out,
So that you can hold it
When we finally can be together.
One day, we will truly be together.
It Holds Me Back I want to see you.
I want to speak with you.
I want to so badly it hurts.
But there is something,
A force, that is holding me back.
I'm sure you know what it is,
For we have talked about it before.
They are there, holding me back,
Like the parents of Juliet.
You are my Romeo
And I am your Juliet.
Their power, using fear itself,
It is what's holding me back.
Please, my darling, anyone,
Bring the key to my release,
So that I may be free from this cage that traps me.
And the chains, which hold me back.
It holds me back, the force that has been around my whole life.
It claims that it's wanting to protect me,
But I have no need for protection.
Because I can make my own choices now.
And every touch from them, the love I feel is replaced with anger and betrayal.
Help, release me from the grasp of that which holds me back.
I don't want to be a bird in a cage anymore,
for I am able to leave the nest.
Release me from this heartache that I'm feeling here,
In the place where I have been raised wit
Bring You BackI wish I could bring you back,
Show you all the good in life -
Everything you forgot to live for.
Take a walk with me,
Ill let you see everything thats gone on.
Show you whats happened to the person you took your life for.
Oh, if you only knew the kind of person she has turned into.
Lies on top of mind games,
Smiles hiding the evil to her plans,
Someone who will never stop breaking hearts.
If you only knew then she wasnt worth it.
I understand everything you felt.
Every question that lingered in your mind.
The need to die was strong, I know.
If only I could have grabbed your hand before you jumped.
I sit here and wonder who youd be today.
Successful, Im sure.
Maybe you would be a doctor,
Allowing people to stay another day,.
Saving those who try to take their lives,
Instead of taking your own.
Id do anything for you to live again.
Look at the things shes done.
See the person she is with right now.
Read the words they ha
IronmanHear me read it
My friends used to call William "Ironman" because the first time we kissed he got a nosebleed and the taste of his blood haunted me for a long time after it. We'd only been twelve years old and apparently the anxiety spiked his blood pressure to the point of combustion... I remember that when we were forced to take sex ed a few years later we were divided into separate classes for boys and girls, in case a diagram of an ovary was too risqué and we became animalistic and started clawing at each other in our seats, but nonetheless when our teacher Ms Jacobs had explained to us what an erection was in my mind all I could picture was the blood rushing to his nose and then the slash of cranberry across my blouse.
With the idea planted in his mind it didn't take long for William's hands to start wandering, but the image persisted. Every time I thought about just letting it happen I wondered what would happen if he got too excite
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More