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The Mind WandersSometimes I feel as if I should be writing a book
Instead of a poem.
Theres too many things to say,
And not enough ink
The alcohol sets in
As the anger seeps out.
The more this happens,
The more cluttered my mind becomes.
The more I have to say.
Three months past and your different than I remember.
The fighting words remain the same,
But this time stronger.
My ears hear more than they would ever ask to know.
A mind has been made up,
To a mindset that will change us all forever.
The timing isnt right.
Theres still years left for this to linger through my mind.
Feeling guilty to even know this honesty,
I let my eyes wander to the ground.
Feeling horrible for your decision,
But knowing its for the best.
Through it all,
I know its just the pills.
A tiny capsule keeping us together.
The only thing you agree upon is the way to loose weight.
Or should I say, loose yourselves
Beneath the perfect image lies a disaster.
But I guess we should all know by
I Love You MomYou say you pictured things differently.
Tears roll down your face as I try to stand strong.
Tripping over your words,
Choking on air.
You tell me that Im leaving too soon.
With each tear that runs, the more I start to break inside.
Wishing my happiness didnt cause you pain.
Trying to figure out some way to make us both happy at the same time.
You say your fine,
But only a fool would believe those words.
The look of pain in your eyes could bring me to my knees.
Ive never seen you break so hard.
But its my turn to tell you,
That everything is fine.
This isnt the end.
Its simply a new beginning.
Your terrified that you wont be in my life anymore,
But Im terrified that youll never truly trust that you always will no matter what.
Theres so many things you wanted to do with me,
That now kill you inside because you fear you cant.
Its never too late mom.
Im here to stay.
The miles may seem long and my voice far away,
But tell m
Running On EmptyMy mind runs hazy
As my soul runs out.
Finding the pieces on the floor,
Trying to fit my heart back together.
Hold them into place until it starts to beat again.
Its obvious theres certain pieces missing.
Never will I be placed together again
Until I learn to create some new.
I cant say I havent tried,
Cause that would be a lie.
I wouldnt have fallen all these times if I hadnt taken a chance.
Wishing I could use this pencil I find myself writing with constantly,
To erase all the things that hurt.
Trying to separate dream from reality.
Sanity from insanity.
Lost within myself,
I find a constant battle.
Looking in each direction to figure out which ones best.
But every direction seems so unclear.
Never will I wear my heart on my sleeve again.
My love has already been branded into my side,
Never to be erased.
Never to be forgotten.
But that never gave me any permanence.
The higher I was, the further I dropped,
And the faster I fell.
Wonder is something
I Dispise.The make up of yourself youve created lately
Is made up of everything I hate.
Despising the words you speak,
The lies you make,
The connections we no longer have.
Turning numb to your composure.
I draw myself the music lines.
I write out all the notes to play.
The sound of the strings from my guitar echo in this room.
Strumming on the strings faster as I think.
Hectic fingers moving quickly to the words pouring from my mouth.
Words of hate.
No words of pity.
Fall to your knees as I have done.
Kick you while your down, I wont.
Laugh as I remise.
Ill lay awake with different thoughts tonight.
Ive missed you all this time,
And now I cant seem to figure out why.
I hate almost everything about you.
Why would I love someone like you?
Miss you now, I dont.
I'm Missing Love.Ive fallen out of love.
Or so I think.
And I have to say,
I didnt think itd hurt this bad.
Maybe hurt is the wrong word to use.
Replace it with empty.
Yeah, thats the perfect word to describe this horrible feeling
that lingers throughout my body.
When my emotions lean towards the worst,
Thats when this feeling hits me hardest.
Looking to run to love.
Speak my words of fear and sadness to the one whose always there.
Knowing itll make everything better just because their beside you.
When you feel you have no one at the end of the day,
Go to love.
Your love is the one whos by your side to hold you.
Well, it seems thats something I can no longer do.
Who knew it could feel so empty?
They say its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
And maybe I agree.
But maybe I dont.
Who likes having something taken away?
Something is missing that I once felt so strong.
Let me feel again.
Maybe thats not
Over And DoneThoughts that fill my brain.
Cries of pain.
Fell to the floor. I cant take any more.
Spoken words turn to lies.
Ive given up, no more tries.
Claiming to be so faithful your words have become too hateful.
Take your steps to turn away
Ill fight to stay astray.
No more late night talks through telephones -
You've created way too many broken bones.
Focus your eyes, theres your true prize.
Another girl comes along,
Ive believed you far too long.
She keeps her steady pace this was never a race.
She knew shed have you in the end,
My heart was there for you to lend.
Fallen girl with broken knees,
Your heart was never mine, Ill give you back the keys.
Trying to crawl to you, I grab the floor.
You turn your back, you shut the door.
Looking to the beautiful skies,
Thats all thats left where are your pretty green eyes?
You continue to lie, I continue to die
Keep asking myself why.
Its been way to painful.
Let's Try To Live On My OwnChanging my ways
The others got me nowhere.
Ive learned from the past.
Ill never do again.
I guess that involves leaving you behind.
Or at least pretending thats what I plan to do.
But little do you know its just a part of my new attempt to get you back.
But wait, thats not what I want?
Maybe I dont even know myself.
Ive spent so much time caught up in you,
Figuring you out,
Ive forgotten about myself.
What is it that I like?
Who am I trying to become?
No. I dont want to become you.
But it looks as if Ive started heading in that direction.
Its time for change.
Time for me to find myself.
Better yet .create myself.
Thats what you say life is about, right?
Done worrying about finding my heart.
This is where I make a new one.
Leave the other behind with you.
Ill pretend it doesnt mean a thing.
My intentions are good, I swear.
Ive just lost my piece of mind.
Memories Too Strong To FadeThey say the more you try to forget,
The more you remember.
But even when I dont try to forget
Youre still my only thought.
Head is screaming now.
Surrounded by people everyday.
Friends that can always make me smile.
A girlfriend who wants nothing more than to be my everything.
Laying in her arms to feel her touch,
But no touch is as sweet as yours.
No matter how many people are around me,
I still feel so alone without you.
The time keeps ticking,
But I feel as if it hasnt moved at all.
Stuck in the past.
Memories flash through my mind,
Like one of those old love movies.
Black and white
But so beautiful.
Trying to pick a favorite memory
But thats just too impossible.
Theres too many memories.
But in each and every one
That beautiful smile of yours still lingers in my eyes.
Youve lied to me.
Left me to fall to my knees.
Broken almost every promise you've ever made to me.
BreakdownHold your blades and contemplate.
Drink up baby.
Drink until you cant remember whats gone wrong.
Kiss as many people as you can.
Get everyone wrapped around your finger as tightly as theyll go.
The world is yours to make a joke of.
But when you find yourself alone at night,
The tears start falling and you dont want to admit it to yourself.
Through all of the things you do to hide the pain,
Its still there.
When no ones around,
You have no one left to show.
Nothing left to pretend.
Reality sets in and you cant breathe.
Its all going on without you.
You take as many people as you can down with you.
But as soon as they find out theyll move on.
Fall to your knees.
Regret and hatred is all you have.
Pain and suffering is what youve convinced yourself youll always have.
Let it go baby.
No more tragedies.
Mermaid's Monologue For LoveI'm floating over where I should be standing
Fins are what I have, no feet for demanding
I dream about being touched upon my shoulders
As you let me know you are there
Why do I dream of love at such a young age?
Blush marks appear on my face
As I daydream about what you would provide for me
Embracing myself with arms crossing my waist
If only I could have a taste
Of the possible good things you may offer
For our relationship~
My hair tosses about in the oceans waves
The wind the earth would receive is different
Underneath the dirt and trees
My brown eyes filled with enthusiastic hope
My heart beats as if you've already arrived
Yet that is not so unto my eyes
As I hug myself, I picture you near me
My eyes close for sleepiness and wanting you
Wanting my love near my side
Before the Earth collects the ocean's tide
Blush marks redden more than usual
I open my eyes as I gaze at the moon
Before I drift off to sleep
To ease my high school conscience
Are you there to kiss my troubles each
Today's HoroscopeA tender smile forms upon his lips
as I laugh, trying to get the hair
out of my face.
He perks in enjoyment as I ask for help,
needing him to fix my seemingly
never ending predicaments.
All I notice when the sun blinds him
is the green specks that appear
with the brown nothingness in his eyes.
When we sing as a group,
I can hear his baritone sink in
even if he's miles away.
We've both been lonely a while,
I with empty promises and
he with absolutely nothing. Hopefully,
God will smile upon this friendship,
that Today's Horoscope said would
your namethree months from now, i'll look back on this and think
"i can't believe i ever wrote your name on my desk."
but until then, i'll keep scratching it in,
over and over,
until it makes a dent,
in my heart.
YouMy breaths will go, but I'll never let go of you,
You're the reason I live, you're the reason I flew,
I flew through my dreams and came to you,
You opened your arms and welcomed me too.
My eyesight will go, but I'll never stop looking at you,
You're the reason I smile, you're the reason I say,
You're the best thing for me, you're my drug for every day,
Life without you, is like the world blocked from the sun ray.
My senses will go, but I'll never stop hugging you,
You're the reason I'm warm, in your arms you cuddle me through,
Through the pain and hardships I had to bare,
Life without you here, is heartless in despair.
My soul will go, but I'll always be with you,
Right beside you, in your life's journey too,
Don't forget me, I have a piece of your heart,
I've attached it to mine, it's been there right from the start.
My Try At RomanceRoses are red
Violets are blue
What a wonderful smile
God drew for you
My blood is red
But on the inside blue
As your heart beat
My love only grew
Your blush is red
My eyes are blue
With a flash that
Gentle hue, my worries flew
Our lips are red
The sky is blue
Together with you
I feel not one pulse...
Brown Eyes Aren't BoringThe cigarette fog is clearing out
And all I see are unhappy people
So many unhappy people.
This weight is pulling me down.
Rest my head.
Baby all I see are those brown eyes.
Twinkling in this sunlight.
I never seen such beautiful eyes.
Break the Mold09-12-14
Break the mold,
I want to be told,
"I'll be the one that you'll hold,"
For I no longer want to be cold...
ForeverI know we can't be together now,
But I know we will be one day.
One day, we will be together.
Neither of us care how long we must wait,
For it will be well worth the wait.
Even if I must wait an eternity,
I will wait for you.
Nothing will stop me from doing so.
Even if I am unable to talk to you,
I will find the right moment to tell you,
As many times as I have to,
How much I love you and how much you mean to me.
Forever I will wait,
Until we can truly be together.
At a time where no one can and/or will look down at us.
You mean more to me than I can even imagine.
My hand continue to be held out,
So that you can hold it
When we finally can be together.
One day, we will truly be together.
I feel at home and cozy and warm and loved and--
I could go on and on and on and on and on--
I can feel my heart beating and warming my chest but--
No butterflies in my stomach just the fluttering of my heart when I--
I can feel my breath being taken away every time I--
When I'm with you
Tables TurnedCome take a seat.
'Cause I've got alot to say to you.
Things you would never expect to hear from me.
Crawling on the floor to get to you.
Begging at your feet for you to take me back.
Ha, well that's all over now.
Take the truth and fill it with lies.
Take your heart and turn it cold.
Oh, but thats not at all the kind of person I want.
No, not this time around.
Pretending such things never happened.
Thats where I made my mistake.
But those mistakes stop now.
Talk your lies to me.
Come on, feed them to me.
Wanna look me in the eyes and pretend your real?
Might as well look away.
'Cause baby, you don't phase me at all.
Up and down,
The roller coaster of your emotions stops now.
Let's play your games.
Bet you anything I'll win this time around.
Tell me what karma feels like.
Cause I won't stick around long enough to help you through.
Games are over.
Get up and leave.
You're not welcome here anymore.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More