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The Mind WandersSometimes I feel as if I should be writing a book
Instead of a poem.
Theres too many things to say,
And not enough ink
The alcohol sets in
As the anger seeps out.
The more this happens,
The more cluttered my mind becomes.
The more I have to say.
Three months past and your different than I remember.
The fighting words remain the same,
But this time stronger.
My ears hear more than they would ever ask to know.
A mind has been made up,
To a mindset that will change us all forever.
The timing isnt right.
Theres still years left for this to linger through my mind.
Feeling guilty to even know this honesty,
I let my eyes wander to the ground.
Feeling horrible for your decision,
But knowing its for the best.
Through it all,
I know its just the pills.
A tiny capsule keeping us together.
The only thing you agree upon is the way to loose weight.
Or should I say, loose yourselves
Beneath the perfect image lies a disaster.
But I guess we should all know by
I Love You MomYou say you pictured things differently.
Tears roll down your face as I try to stand strong.
Tripping over your words,
Choking on air.
You tell me that Im leaving too soon.
With each tear that runs, the more I start to break inside.
Wishing my happiness didnt cause you pain.
Trying to figure out some way to make us both happy at the same time.
You say your fine,
But only a fool would believe those words.
The look of pain in your eyes could bring me to my knees.
Ive never seen you break so hard.
But its my turn to tell you,
That everything is fine.
This isnt the end.
Its simply a new beginning.
Your terrified that you wont be in my life anymore,
But Im terrified that youll never truly trust that you always will no matter what.
Theres so many things you wanted to do with me,
That now kill you inside because you fear you cant.
Its never too late mom.
Im here to stay.
The miles may seem long and my voice far away,
But tell m
Running On EmptyMy mind runs hazy
As my soul runs out.
Finding the pieces on the floor,
Trying to fit my heart back together.
Hold them into place until it starts to beat again.
Its obvious theres certain pieces missing.
Never will I be placed together again
Until I learn to create some new.
I cant say I havent tried,
Cause that would be a lie.
I wouldnt have fallen all these times if I hadnt taken a chance.
Wishing I could use this pencil I find myself writing with constantly,
To erase all the things that hurt.
Trying to separate dream from reality.
Sanity from insanity.
Lost within myself,
I find a constant battle.
Looking in each direction to figure out which ones best.
But every direction seems so unclear.
Never will I wear my heart on my sleeve again.
My love has already been branded into my side,
Never to be erased.
Never to be forgotten.
But that never gave me any permanence.
The higher I was, the further I dropped,
And the faster I fell.
Wonder is something
I Dispise.The make up of yourself youve created lately
Is made up of everything I hate.
Despising the words you speak,
The lies you make,
The connections we no longer have.
Turning numb to your composure.
I draw myself the music lines.
I write out all the notes to play.
The sound of the strings from my guitar echo in this room.
Strumming on the strings faster as I think.
Hectic fingers moving quickly to the words pouring from my mouth.
Words of hate.
No words of pity.
Fall to your knees as I have done.
Kick you while your down, I wont.
Laugh as I remise.
Ill lay awake with different thoughts tonight.
Ive missed you all this time,
And now I cant seem to figure out why.
I hate almost everything about you.
Why would I love someone like you?
Miss you now, I dont.
I'm Missing Love.Ive fallen out of love.
Or so I think.
And I have to say,
I didnt think itd hurt this bad.
Maybe hurt is the wrong word to use.
Replace it with empty.
Yeah, thats the perfect word to describe this horrible feeling
that lingers throughout my body.
When my emotions lean towards the worst,
Thats when this feeling hits me hardest.
Looking to run to love.
Speak my words of fear and sadness to the one whose always there.
Knowing itll make everything better just because their beside you.
When you feel you have no one at the end of the day,
Go to love.
Your love is the one whos by your side to hold you.
Well, it seems thats something I can no longer do.
Who knew it could feel so empty?
They say its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,
And maybe I agree.
But maybe I dont.
Who likes having something taken away?
Something is missing that I once felt so strong.
Let me feel again.
Maybe thats not
Over And DoneThoughts that fill my brain.
Cries of pain.
Fell to the floor. I cant take any more.
Spoken words turn to lies.
Ive given up, no more tries.
Claiming to be so faithful your words have become too hateful.
Take your steps to turn away
Ill fight to stay astray.
No more late night talks through telephones -
You've created way too many broken bones.
Focus your eyes, theres your true prize.
Another girl comes along,
Ive believed you far too long.
She keeps her steady pace this was never a race.
She knew shed have you in the end,
My heart was there for you to lend.
Fallen girl with broken knees,
Your heart was never mine, Ill give you back the keys.
Trying to crawl to you, I grab the floor.
You turn your back, you shut the door.
Looking to the beautiful skies,
Thats all thats left where are your pretty green eyes?
You continue to lie, I continue to die
Keep asking myself why.
Its been way to painful.
Let's Try To Live On My OwnChanging my ways
The others got me nowhere.
Ive learned from the past.
Ill never do again.
I guess that involves leaving you behind.
Or at least pretending thats what I plan to do.
But little do you know its just a part of my new attempt to get you back.
But wait, thats not what I want?
Maybe I dont even know myself.
Ive spent so much time caught up in you,
Figuring you out,
Ive forgotten about myself.
What is it that I like?
Who am I trying to become?
No. I dont want to become you.
But it looks as if Ive started heading in that direction.
Its time for change.
Time for me to find myself.
Better yet .create myself.
Thats what you say life is about, right?
Done worrying about finding my heart.
This is where I make a new one.
Leave the other behind with you.
Ill pretend it doesnt mean a thing.
My intentions are good, I swear.
Ive just lost my piece of mind.
Memories Too Strong To FadeThey say the more you try to forget,
The more you remember.
But even when I dont try to forget
Youre still my only thought.
Head is screaming now.
Surrounded by people everyday.
Friends that can always make me smile.
A girlfriend who wants nothing more than to be my everything.
Laying in her arms to feel her touch,
But no touch is as sweet as yours.
No matter how many people are around me,
I still feel so alone without you.
The time keeps ticking,
But I feel as if it hasnt moved at all.
Stuck in the past.
Memories flash through my mind,
Like one of those old love movies.
Black and white
But so beautiful.
Trying to pick a favorite memory
But thats just too impossible.
Theres too many memories.
But in each and every one
That beautiful smile of yours still lingers in my eyes.
Youve lied to me.
Left me to fall to my knees.
Broken almost every promise you've ever made to me.
BreakdownHold your blades and contemplate.
Drink up baby.
Drink until you cant remember whats gone wrong.
Kiss as many people as you can.
Get everyone wrapped around your finger as tightly as theyll go.
The world is yours to make a joke of.
But when you find yourself alone at night,
The tears start falling and you dont want to admit it to yourself.
Through all of the things you do to hide the pain,
Its still there.
When no ones around,
You have no one left to show.
Nothing left to pretend.
Reality sets in and you cant breathe.
Its all going on without you.
You take as many people as you can down with you.
But as soon as they find out theyll move on.
Fall to your knees.
Regret and hatred is all you have.
Pain and suffering is what youve convinced yourself youll always have.
Let it go baby.
No more tragedies.
LemonsIf life gives you lemons
Make hot chocolate <3
It warms your heart
Dries your tears
Makes you smile
Vanquishes your fears
Have a cup with me
And together we'll make
A perfect fantasy
sometimes hate is not enoughi feel guilty
because the chances are
i'll ruin your life
and all i'll do afterwards is write about it
PerdicionTe conocí en invierno, las calles cubiertas de nieve, el frió carcomía nuestras pieles,
tu piel pálida y congelada, intentado calentar tus manos.
Ese día, aquel donde sentí un fuerte impulso de hablarte en cuanto te vi, sentado en la banca del parque moviendo tus piernas para entrar en calor, solo guiada por un impulso
me acerque a ti, te di mi bufanda y gantes, luego solo me fui.... sin preguntarte
tu nombre, ni de donde eras, ni que hacías, solo me fui.
Días pasaron, y no te volví a ver, creí que solo fue coincidencia el haberte encontrado para evitar que murieras congelado, pero increíblemente nos reencontramos en mi cafetería favorita, te distinguí de inmediato por que traías puesta mi bufanda y guantes..... aun recuerdo tu rostro confundido ... como si buscases a alguien.
Recuerdo tu rostro iluminarse cuando giraste en mi dirección. Me dijiste que mi bufanda tenia olor a
I Love You.
Oh, gorgeous goddess!
How your beauty tantalizes me!
Leaving a dumb statue
In my place.
How can You,
O Great and Majestic One,
Sitting on your golden throne,
In the sky,
Have created such a girl
As the one I see
Oh how my heart flutters!
Sweet angel, you gave
Wings to my
You blessed a poor soul,
With that wonderful magic
Only you possess.
I will give
I will cross the world for you,
I will serve you,
I will think only of you,
I will do anything for you!
If only I can
Hold your delicate hand,
Skin so smooth,
Soft as silk,
And be with you,
Every step of your way,
To comfort you
In your sorrows,
he's got a girlfriend anywaywe both know
that it's hard to write about
it's taken me seven months to start
while you slept, i burnt your crimson sheets
and painted your ceiling purple
part of me thought you might understand
i was trying to show you how i felt
i was being brave
it was how i wanted to tell you
but i was destroying more than i created
(just spread your love
set fire to the storms)
i tried to tell you
but i was tied to tracks
and it's too close for the train to miss me when it stops
if there is still a chance
you might need me
you will find me where we fell in love
sitting under cherry dark skies
with shaking fingers crossed
and blood stained lips locked
24 not-poems later1.
it is so hard to be okay
when all i've got are cigarettes
the voices of strangers
and memories of you
it's so hard to be okay
when you hate yourself
for not being okay
all i want is to hear you say
that you love me
so that for five seconds,
i can believe it;
just a few moments
of being alright
i wonder what you would do
with the letters i have written
but never given you
with the truth that i have known
but never told
if i swim
until my arms could no longer
hold me up - you wouldn't
even have a body to say goodbye to
i wonder what you would do
if i wrote right here
that it was you
i wonder what you would think about
and what we have done; the love
that we have destroyed
with our cowardice and our weakness
like a windowsill plant
left out in summer
i wonder what you would think
if the last thing i tol you
was that i loved you
god damn you kissed me hard
when you left
as if you knew it would be the last time
what if it was
the last time
you would never have to catch another moth for m
LovesicknessI've only known you for a few days,
Yet still this longing feeling stays.
It makes me hate my in active ways,
I need a distraction, for the longer I laze,
The more I think of how you amaze.
Without your touch I feel so alone,
Anywhere near you could feel like home.
So please let me near, it's my heart that you own!
After all, you said that you love me so dearly,
Do why can't I hug you at least yearly?
you jump i jumpit shouldn't be a crime to want to die
but when it comes to you
i'm so fucking glad it is
A State of Consistent Emptiness“Are you feeling better now?”
I feel I have to lie somehow
But instead truth comes spilling out
Before I cork my mouth
With a never mind,
Save it for another time
When I am open to sharing
I know that it will come someday
A point of self-reflection
And everything so huge
Will get smaller, easier, and less dramatic
But for now I swoon over you in the dead of night
Assisted by the bloodied objects of my plight
And I wonder when that day will come
When there is something I set my sights on
And strive to be it
Floating, falling dangerously
Like a dandelion above water
And like a small child you are the only one
Who actually wants me in their lawn
Who might actually miss me when I’m gone
And sometimes I want to strangle myself
Just to see if I’m worth saving
But still I ignore and consent to drown
I’m better off when I cannot breathe
More in touch when I cannot see
And so I bite your hand away
With my last breath
And then I sink into the abyss
All of my regrets
Tables TurnedCome take a seat.
'Cause I've got alot to say to you.
Things you would never expect to hear from me.
Crawling on the floor to get to you.
Begging at your feet for you to take me back.
Ha, well that's all over now.
Take the truth and fill it with lies.
Take your heart and turn it cold.
Oh, but thats not at all the kind of person I want.
No, not this time around.
Pretending such things never happened.
Thats where I made my mistake.
But those mistakes stop now.
Talk your lies to me.
Come on, feed them to me.
Wanna look me in the eyes and pretend your real?
Might as well look away.
'Cause baby, you don't phase me at all.
Up and down,
The roller coaster of your emotions stops now.
Let's play your games.
Bet you anything I'll win this time around.
Tell me what karma feels like.
Cause I won't stick around long enough to help you through.
Games are over.
Get up and leave.
You're not welcome here anymore.
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More